At the end of a long day, I took a quick moment to get a jumpstart on my work email—striving to preempt any surprises I might face at 8 o’clock the next morning. Frustration ebbed throughout my tired mind as I read an email that contained complaints and feelings of entitlement from a student known to be immature in his responses to life’s challenges. I wanted to send back a veiled sting of reproach, but instead I crawled into bed to think through my response. Getting to the root of my frustrations, I nixed my first inclinations and seized the opportunity to model grace.
A foundational tenet of our Christian theology and experience, grace often remains in the abstract of our walk rather than the daily practice. In moments of frustration, the desire for a fair hearing rises up in our hearts. We rush to prove others wrong in their perceptions and to defend our cause. Whether uttered outright or in our hearts, we look for the opportunity to triumph.
In his letter to the church at Ephesus, Paul reminds the believers that we have access to “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ” (Ephesians 1:3). Sometimes we forget, however, that this spiritual treasury holds the grace necessary to extend kindness where we would otherwise demand an “eye for an eye” (Matthew 5:38-44).
Far from being a philosophical ideal, grace first became visible through Christ (2 Corinthians 8:9; Titus 2:11). In our lives, it must be the same. Just as Jesus chose to love us when we had nothing to offer, our ability to extend grace is not measured by those moments when we believe someone has our back. Rather, grace takes on flesh in our lives when we offer love where we could otherwise demand vindication.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Genesis 39:1-23
More:
Read Titus 3:3-7 and consider how this passage is essential to our interactions with others.
Next:
Why do we struggle to choose grace in moments of frustration? What’s at the root of our desire to make our frustrations or hurt known to those who have wronged us?
Sandy on January 22, 2013 at 6:49 am
I love your heart.
Gene on January 22, 2013 at 7:50 am
What a timely message because I was tempted to write a pointed message back to a family member to share my “enlightened” perspective. What a great reminder that we do indeed have a spiritual treasury that allows us to extend kindness –through His grace!
regina franklin on January 22, 2013 at 10:03 am
Dear Sandy and Gene,
Thanks so much for your comments. May the Lord be glorified in us all as we seek to speak (write) His words, but even moreso, as we seek to carry His heart.
Blessings!
Terrence Simon on January 22, 2013 at 11:00 am
Dear Regina,
Thanks for remainding us that we got a great gift from our heavenly father.
Spiritual treasury is one everyone needed in their life to lead a happy and godly life.
cheers
Terrence Simon
regina franklin on January 23, 2013 at 7:49 pm
Thanks Terrence! Blessings.
roxanne robbins on January 22, 2013 at 5:01 pm
Thank you for the admonishment to apply God’s treasures to our responses. Imagine the strife that would be eliminated if we regularly chose grace over frustration.
regina franklin on January 23, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Dear Roxanne,
Thanks for the feedback–it reminded me of the scripture in Proverbs that “a gentle answer turns away wrath.” When my children were little, the Lord taught me that the gentle answer was just as much to deal with my wrath (frustration) as it was theirs.
floadu on January 22, 2013 at 7:17 pm
I actually made a similar mistake today, responding and pointing out someone else’s flaws because I was hurt by their actions.
But thank you for sharing His word today. I have learnt to think of “Grace” before I react.
I like the excerpt from Titus 3:5 “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us….”
May the Lord continue to bless you.
tom felten on January 23, 2013 at 9:44 am
Thanks for sharing, floadu. It’s so easy to “return fire with fire.” But when we think of what God did—reaching out to us even in our disobedience against Him and rejection of Him, it helps us to show mercy and grace to those who wrong us.
daisymarygoldr on January 23, 2013 at 6:35 pm
Well said, Regina; “our ability to extend grace is not measured by those moments when we believe someone has our back”! Usually, I tend to be gracious to those who are gracious. It is hard to respond with grace in the face of arrogance. In your case, there would have been no frustration if the student had communicated his complaints with humbleness. Situations like this require me to put on humility. When I consider the other person as better than myself, there is no longer any desire for getting even.
On a side note: the demand for vindication is something I simply do not understand. In all of my growing years I had never heard my parents or people in church pray for God to avenge them of pagan persecution. The heart is to do good to those who are not good to you, so they can also experience God’s love and become followers of Jesus. But here in this part of the world, it is appalling to see Christians use the example of David and others in the OT to justify their vindictive prayers. Who are their enemies? Not unbelievers but fellow believers. Any wonder why God does not answer such prayers.
In Revelation, it is the souls of the slain that cried out for God to judge and avenge their blood. Their longing is for justice to rule that they are right in preaching Christ and their persecutors were wrong. Our sense of vengeance is way different from God’s. The Cross is the vindication of God’s righteousness; and grace is “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense”
In moments of frustration our flesh is weak; hence the struggle to choose grace. But when I submit myself to the Holy Spirit, He enables me to produce kindness in my responses. Since I have received much grace, much is required in return, even if it means letting the other plow on my back. Indeed, we are examples of the incredible wealth of God’s grace and kindness toward us (Ephesians 2:7).
regina franklin on January 23, 2013 at 7:45 pm
Dear Daisymarygold,
Difficulties in our relationships with other believers create some of the most stretching and poignant opportunities to walk in grace. However, as food for thought, not everyone in the church is a believer, and Paul makes a clear distinction of how to respond to those who deliberately stir up contention in the body–not a response that lacks grace but a grace that gives us the ability to put firm and appropriate boundaries in place with a heart to protect the body, not one of self-defense. Sometimes that means being silent when our reputation is being attacked so that the Lord can be our vindication in revealing the truth about a situation.