Every summer, female sea turtles trudge out of the sea and onto the beach where they lay their eggs. The baby turtles that eventually hatch follow the light of the moon as they scurry back to the sea. It’s tempting for beachgoers to carry the little guys to the water’s edge, but their well-intentioned hands only guarantee that the baby turtles will not survive. The arduous journey from nest to ocean is essential to develop their fledgling muscles so they can swim in the ocean currents. Shortcut this process and the baby turtles will die.
Remember the tiny turtles when lending a hand to help people. We must do our best to shelter them from external threats, just as some cities shade their streetlights so the turtles won’t mistake them for the moon and wander into traffic. But we must not do for them what they can—and must—do for themselves. A “hand-up” is better than a handout.
Paul heard that some in the Thessalonian church were “living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business” (2 Thessalonians 3:11). He believed that charity, in this case, would only encourage them to leech off the kindness of others. So rather than meet their basic necessities, Paul told the diligent Thessalonians to practice tough love: “Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don’t follow the tradition they received from us,” for “those unwilling to work will not get to eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:6,10).
Compassionate Christians will always be tempted to solve the problems that suffering people should tackle themselves. But rather than write a check and move on, we’re most helpful when we look beyond the immediate need and help them to develop muscles for the long haul. It can be hard to watch them struggle, but it’s their only path to survival.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Colossians 2:1-15
More:
Read Matthew 25:14-30 to learn of the responsible effort God demands from His children.
Next:
How have your ordeals strengthened you? How were you given room to work through your problems and to develop stamina for life?
roxanne robbins on December 5, 2012 at 7:41 am
We’re instructed to help carry each others’ burdens but not each others’ loads. The latter, the Lord equips us to handle, and as your wrote, lets the lifting strengthen us in faith and character.
mike wittmer on December 5, 2012 at 8:14 am
That’s well put, Roxanne. I like your distinction between burdens and loads. I also need to remember the distinction between my spiritual need and my social-physical needs. For the latter it’s best to have a hand-up, for the former, because I am dead in sin (Eph. 2), I need a hand-out. So what is best for one need would be lethal in another.
tom felten on December 5, 2012 at 10:28 am
Good thoughts, Mike. It’s so much easier to “give someone a fish” instead of “teaching them how to fish.” Sometimes I’ll simply give people stuff and take care of things for them, but thanks for the reminder that it’s so much better for people to take their own steps of faith and maturity in the Christian life—and all of life. We’re there to cheer them on and give them counsel and perhaps training, but not to do all things for them.
winn collier on December 5, 2012 at 6:12 pm
You’ve probably read When Helping Hurts, some synergy with what you’ve written. It’s hard with my boys, to know when and when not.
lianalim on December 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Thanks for the timely reminder. I’ve been trying very hard to help a relative and his family – yes I want to practise thro love, so that they’ll learn not to expect handouts. Trusting in the Lord to help them on the journey
mike wittmer on December 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Yes, I’ve heard of that, Winn. Also “Dead Aid,” I think is a book about how western nations foolishly dump money on developing nations, which tends to only go to the upper crust and breeds corruption. Apparently the truly needy see little of it.
lianalim: I know what you’re feeling. If we are compassionate at all, sometimes the hardest thing we ever do is watch a loved one struggle to maturity. We want so badly to solve their problem, but we know that we’ll just be creating a larger one.