In his book The Johns, Victor Malarek reveals the motivations of men who buy the services of prostitutes. In most cases, pornography precedes the transaction. The men watch porn, fantasize about the experience they want, then find a woman who will act out what they desire. The deed follows the fantasy.
Many of us may start thinking how “sick” such men are, as we would never get involved in such “filthy” acts. Jesus confronts such an attitude. While we may not have engaged in the deed of prostitution or viewed pornography, few of us are innocent of lustful fantasy.
It is not wrong to be sexually attracted to another person (temptation is not sin—Hebrews 4:15). God made us sexual beings who long for intimacy. What Jesus condemns is illicit lust—purposely looking at someone other than one’s spouse to stimulate and entertain sexual desire.
The legalists of Jesus’ day had a religion of deeds. In one’s mind, the fantasies could run wild so long as one didn’t “do the deed” of adultery (Exodus 20:14). Jesus taught a religion of the heart. Adultery starts with a fantasy, making the fantasy a sin itself (Matthew 5:28). A man can look lustfully at a woman without touching her. She can still feel like simply an object.
Jesus’ remedy to lustful fantasy is radical and practical. The heart follows the eyes (Job 31:7). If your eyes are leading you to sin, then go blind! (Matthew 5:29). Shut your eyes. Divert them. Take them elsewhere before your heart follows them. Forgo the illicit pleasures of this life for the sake of the next (Matthew 5:29).
Jesus’ teaching here is for both sexes. All of us are to cultivate holy imaginations, viewing people as people rather than just objects to be used.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Mark 12:28-37
More:
Read Job 31:1-11 to see how the heart follows the eyes.
Next:
In what setting are your eyes prone to lead your heart astray? Do you dress to be seductive to the opposite sex? How are you making it difficult for others to pursue a holy imagination?
Terrence Simon on September 5, 2012 at 4:33 am
Dear sheridan voysey,
Really I consider this message is for me only. I don’t know how to get out of such things but your message clearly shows the way to get out of such acts. Please give more thoughts and plan to get out of such things.
Thanks
sheridan voysey on September 5, 2012 at 7:32 am
Hi Terrence.
Here are two sites worth visiting for further help:
http://www.xxxchurch.com
http://www.pureintimacy.org
Both sites have plenty of biblical and practical advice for dealing with this trap.
Most importantly you need to share your struggle with another strong Christian man who can help you ‘divert the eyes’ as Jesus calls us to do. There are numerous groups now set up for people recovering from pornographic addiction. Your pastor may be able to help you find or even start one.
Praying for you, friend.
tom felten on September 5, 2012 at 9:27 am
Terrence, I highly recommend an online video series from Day of Discovery titled trapped. View the first segment here.
texas81 on September 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Terrence, there is probably a lot of good places to look, but I would recommend Setting Captives Free. Not only am I a student, but I have also been a mentor for two of their sexual purity courses. I am currently going through the course again because I listen to my earthly desires and fell back into porn. What an awful feeling that is. By the Grace of God, I am going on about 8 weeks of being porn free. God bless you.
tom felten on September 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm
texas81, thanks for sharing your story with us. Yes, God’s grace is greater than our failures and sins. So glad that you’ve experienced 8 weeks of freedom from porn. May God give you all you need to continue to walk in purity with Him!
Terrence Simon on September 7, 2012 at 10:11 am
Thanks Tom for your suggestion I’m not that much addicted but often get into such type of sin. I felt my loneliness is reason for such type sin even when I’m focused on God.
tom felten on September 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Good insight, Terrence. Yes, when we respond to these desires in an unhealthy way we will typically end up in isolation. That’s the worst place for us to be! We need to open our lives up to God and to others who will encourage and help us. Peace.