When Hitler sought to placate Austrian minister Kurt von Schuschnigg by complimenting and praising him publicly, a disgusted Winston Churchill muttered, “When a snake wants to eat his victims, he first covers them in saliva.”
The Bible calls Hitler’s use of insincere praise flattery—words said and actions done to gain favor with others and advantage over them. Though some write very favorably of flattery, the Bible does not speak of it in favorable terms. In fact, it says that flattery is deceitful.
In Psalm 12, David lamented the deceitfulness of flattery. He asked God for help because he noticed a serious rip in the moral fabric of his own community. One of the indicators of the tear was that people were using flattery to lie to and deceive one another. With the intentions of gaining favor and an advantage with their neighbors, they were using beautiful words of praise and encouragement to cover up the ugly intentions (attacks and traps) of their hearts (Psalm 55:20-21; Jeremiah 9:8).
David was so disturbed by this deception that he asked God to cut off or silence all flattering lips (Psalm 12:2). He asked God to intervene because he knew the results of this type of deception: deep relational hurt and ruined relationships (Proverbs 26:28, 29:5).
Instead of covering people with the saliva of flattery, we should imitate Job’s actions (Job 32:21-22). Let’s embrace honesty and cover others in the fragrance of gracious truth, even if that means wounding friends to refine their character (Proverbs 27:6). We’re servants of Christ, and we must seek His approval over the approval of men.
May we please God, who will one day evaluate the purity and sincerity of our hearts, words, and actions.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Luke 11:1-13
More:
Read 2 Thessalonians 2:1-12 to see how Paul encouraged his readers to live out integrity— not flattery—in their relationships.
Next:
How is flattery a form of lying and deception? What are some things you can do to focus more on the approval of God versus the approval of people?
daisymarygoldr on August 2, 2011 at 2:39 am
“The Spider and the Fly”, by Mary Howitt is one of my favorite poems about a fly who knows better than to listen to the pseudo praise of a spider. However, eventually, the flattering words of the cruel spider lured the silly little fly to come fluttering right into his web and—never to return again.
By their flattering words, we can know who is truly on the Lord’s side. Jude pointed out this characteristic of apostate teachers who have wormed their way into our churches and flatter others to get what they want (Jude 1:16). Flattering words are used to take advantage of the naïve and deceive the hearts of the simple. (Romans 16:18).
The person who flatters wants to please people by saying nice things that others ‘want’ to hear but does not say things that people ‘need’ to hear. People pleasers dishonor God and hurt others. Since we have been entrusted with the gospel our purpose is to please God, not win people with flattery (I Thessalonians 2:4-5).
Unlike Judas who betrayed the Lord with a kiss, true followers of Christ don’t flatter one another. Truth need not be spun or sugar-coated; it simply needs to be spoken—in love. Thanks Marvin Williams for this cautionary Word!
marvin williams on August 2, 2011 at 8:01 am
daisymarygoldr, thanks for adding your voice here on this very important issue. Having courageous conversations with people is not easy, yet it is so necessary if we are to build authentic relationships. Has there ever been a time where someone has spoken beautiful words to you in order to gain an advantage? How did you handle it?
daisymarygoldr on August 2, 2011 at 1:33 pm
In the church? No, I did not get scammed. As a woman though, I am susceptible to flattery and was taught to be careful and not be enticed by those who whisper sweet nothings into my ears. If someone took advantage of me then I would move on and learn a good lesson from it to not fall for flattering words.
pjp on August 2, 2011 at 6:32 am
Very well said Daisy. A needed principle of our time where many preachers are luring people into deception by talking what itchy ears want to hear. may the Lord God put an end to all this lies.
marvin williams on August 2, 2011 at 8:06 am
pjp, how can the vulnerable protect themselves from flattery? What role does understanding who we are in Jesus play in guarding against flattery. I think people fall for the “tired flattering lines” because they may have never heard someone genuinely tell them how much they are loved by God. What do you think?
daisymarygoldr on August 2, 2011 at 1:34 pm
pjp, I agree. Christ despised the hypocrisy of religious leaders who go to such extreme labors in planning to make converts. Yet, in truth, they were shutting up the door of heaven in people’s faces. This applies to present day church leaders who love the praises of men and are more concerned about ratings and head counts than about true conversions.
winn collier on August 2, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Thank you for this good reminder, that flattery is at odds with honesty. Good word.