A pastor friend of mine recently said that the Christian church ought to apologize and repent of the hurt it has caused to the homosexual community. That’s a pretty radical statement, but I happen to agree.
Now, before you label me as someone going soft on sin, please understand that I believe the Bible teaches that homosexuality is wrong. Romans 1:26-27 plainly states that homosexual behavior is unnatural and against God’s created design for sexual expression. But to reach out and show God’s love to those involved in homosexuality requires much more than simply telling them it’s wrong.
Unfortunately, some Christians have stigmatized and self-righteously singled out homosexuality as the worst of all sins. Many of us have acted as if this sin is greater than our own sin and condemned those who indulge in the lifestyle. It’s as if we’ve tried to get them completely changed before we get them into God’s family—let alone welcome them to sit in our pews on Sundays.
Sadly, we’ve responded out of an “us versus them” mentality. We have failed to understand that when the Bible tells us that Jesus was known as a friend of sinners, it didn’t say, except for certain kinds of sinners (Matthew 11:18-19).
As believers in Jesus, we need to acknowledge that the homosexual community feels alienated by the church partly because of the words and behavior of some people who claim to be Christians. Yes, we are to uphold God’s original design for sexual identity and expression, but we’ve been wrong to use the truth as a club.
Jesus, help us to see and own the mistakes we’ve made so we can offer a safe haven for men and women to receive the grace of Jesus—grace that can repair any life that is broken by sin.
More:
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do. . . . Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ (Ephesians 5:1-2).
Next:
How have you acted self-righteously toward those in the homosexual community? How do you need to change the way you share God’s truth in love with people who are involved in homosexuality?
lindagma on November 10, 2010 at 6:44 am
I couldn’t agree with you more… there is no sin greater than another and we bring people to Jesus by showing them His love. Having said that, I don’t think the animosity toward homosexuals is totally rooted in “just” their sin… but rather in defense of what we see as an aggressive movement to undermine the family and what we know as truth. It is a difficult position we’re in… to thwart legislation that would promote teaching homosexual lifestyles in KINDERGARTEN of all things, children being adopted into gay couples homes, teenagers being convinced they are gay because they are insecure with the opposite sex (in truth what teenager isn’t) and blatant perversion marched through our cities in parades… and still be loving toward the sinner. I know no other way than to stand on our Christian principles for the country and love the sinner on an individual basis.
jeGeddes on November 11, 2010 at 12:53 am
Then again, there is one unforgivable sin that you read about in Mathew 12:32.
Mt 12:32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.
My interpretation of that is even if you say sorry to God, if you blaspheme against the Holy Spirit, your gone. Well, it has nothing to do with the subject, but I thought I might just add it in!
jayrubin on November 26, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Well said. These are my exact feelings. Some people try to argue as to whether or not homosexuality is a result of birth traits or learned. I do not believe this matters. The same question could be asked about pedophiles, thieves, adulterers, gossipers, etc.
The real issue is whether or not the act you are performing results in pleasing God or offending him. If it is offensive, then the person needs to repent and work on improving themselves.
Since we are all sinners, we should not cast stones at others. If another sinner is attacking us by trying to force us to participate in or consider doing acts of sins, then we should stand up and reject those actions.
It would appear we have a real battle on our hands with those people trying to force sinful ways on us.
selahgirl on June 16, 2011 at 2:13 pm
lindagma,
AMEN ! You are exactly right. I will pray for you that you will be ableto speak the truth with boldness.
Invisible on November 10, 2010 at 7:34 am
Thank you
bstewart126 on November 10, 2010 at 8:10 am
I agree with you lindagma. I believe sin is sin and God doesn’t classify sin like we do. However, I have 5 children and I’m constantly asked about homosexuality. The media is so blatant with it and so I’m constantly going back to the word of God and it’s teaching on the subject. We must remember Jesus didn’t come to call the righteous, but the unrighteous and so what better place for all us sinners but the church.
looiwanlin on November 10, 2010 at 8:43 am
WoW, this is a big homework……..
Thanks for the sharing ^^
Stewart C D on November 10, 2010 at 9:29 am
Thanks for “an apology”. Our home group is just studying Romans chapters 1 an 2. I am going to share this entry and the wise comments with the group.
loananna on November 10, 2010 at 9:58 am
Wow, thanks for putting this in words. I have a niece who is a lesbian. I always love on her and tell her that the Lord loves her no matter what. I tell her that the lifestyle she lives is a sin but I still love her and that the Lord does too. Keep an unspoken prayer that the Lord will continue to surround her with beleivers and her heart will be softened to his word. Thanks
WV_Dennis on November 10, 2010 at 10:12 am
Jeff,
Thanks for the post. Really good food for thought! I would also like to point out that to say that we love the “sinner” and “hate the sin” will certainly, in my opinion, be counter-productive in the case of ministering to our homosexual friends and neighbors. While I understand the concern of some, for I too monitor and vigilantly guard what enters the mind and hearts of my children, I do not understand the fear. I don’t think I agree with some of the reply comments regarding what are or should be the proper Christian responses to homosexuals and homosexuality. I do not believe the best way to “love” the homosexual is to deny them civic rights, or at-least oppress them to the point that they will be shamed into seclusion. The passing of legislation which will make the pursuit of a heterosexual life-style more appealing – as if it already is not – will not change a person’s attractions nor will it help them understand their identity in Christ. For without Christ the sinner will simply trade in one mode of sexual sin for another.
I would challenge all who take seriously Jeff’s appeal to read the admonition of the apostle Paul in 1 Cor. 5:9-13. In this passage Paul sets for us a parameters by which we respond to sexually immoral (homo or hetero) people within and outside of the church. For the outsider it is out of this world love not in this world legislation, healing and hope in Christ and not hurt from religious people, invitation into God’s family not isolation before the Holy Spirit has a chance to change and redeem…
prayerful on November 11, 2010 at 6:44 am
My wife and I got into an argument the other day. And, after our argument, she apologized. The only problem with her apology is that she didn’t mean it. Yes, she was sorry for yelling, but fundamentally, she believed her problematic position was right. And, while I appreciated her apology for her tone, the real offense–and hurt–was the problematic position she maintained. She was sorry without being sorry.
Your apology strikes me similarly. Sure, we should be sorry for the alienation we cause other people, gay, straight, white, black, but as long as you maintain gay is a sin you will continue to engender this mistreatment. Leviticus gives us a litany of sins that we understand as absolutely ludicrous and in no way understand our relationship to Christ as vitally tied to obeying them (other than a casual, noncommital “Christ covered all of our sin by dying for us). We pick and choose which sins are major and which don’t matter at all–and then we pretend like our choice is God’s choice.
I appreciate your sentiments with this morning message, but, I guess, given your position, I wonder what your apology is really worth.
jeff olson on November 11, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Prayerful, thanks for your response. To clarify, I wasn’t offering an apology for my position on homosexuality. I was apologizing for not showing Christlike love to the homosexual community as I expressed my position.
I pray that we can do better at speaking the truth in love with those with whom we disagree.
compy68 on January 30, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Hi there,
I know for myself, it was difficult to die to homosexual feelings. Then, to keep moving forward as I learned a bit more each day of the depth of God’s love for me.
I agree with one reader that “approach” to the gay community, toward any sin really, is key to winning someone to Christ. I grew up silently, while others (sadly Christians )spoke of “homos” and “queers” in a unloving manner. For years I kept the crisis locked inside. One day told my pastor of my secret. He was so understanding and showed a lot of care in showing God’s love without compromising the truth. For those who just say, “live and let live” you’re just loving them right into hell.
Through sanctification, I’m learning daily what God truly thinks of me and how he loves me. No earthly relationship can ever be a substitute for His love.
“He took me from the fearful pit and from the miry clay. He place my feet apon a rock, establishing my way.”
BalkanBoy on March 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Awesome article. Everyone, and by that I mean, any one of 6.8 billion people on the planet who uses someone else’s sexual preference or their indulgence into any kind of sin to club that person over the head with it is actually guilty of the #1 sin that had us fall from grace with God – and that’s PRIDE!
My position on any sin – including homosexuality, or lust (something I am guilty of, daily) is to invite those who commit the sin to embrace God, that is, Jesus Christ.
I wouldn’t say to them – “embrace Christ to be delivered from your sin”. I would only say – “embrace Christ, and see what happens with your life”.
The language we speak, when inviting people to transform their lives, makes a profound difference in how the invitation will occur to the other person.
If there is even one atom of inauthenticity in someone else’s behavior, he or she _knows_ this, deep inside, whether it is with regards to their sin or something else, but you will never dislodge them from their position by fixing or changing them, but rather by inviting them to embrace someone bigger than themselves and surrender themselves to Him.
How this unfolds for them, if they choose … is going to be unique to each individual.
jeff olson on March 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm
BalkanBoy, well put…embrace Jesus first and see what comes of it.
ruler on March 16, 2011 at 11:46 am
i am guilty of homo sexual feelings… i am watching gay porn in the net every now and then, i love God and by doing this things, i know that im Hurting Him and i don’t like this a feeling.. i dont get attracted to men emotionally but sexually… i don’t like this feeling eversince i kept on praying that one day.. like a magic.. i will feel like a real men without having a desire of a homosexual person… help me guys pray.. i know that we all beleive that in God, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE:)
daisymarygoldr on March 16, 2011 at 2:20 pm
ruler, thank you for your honest sharing. I want you to know that you are not alone. There are many who struggle with homosexual feelings and every human being struggles with sexual feelings. And just like you we all hope that like magic the feelings will go away. It is not wrong to have feelings but it is a sin to feed our feelings.
Unfortunately, internet porn available right at our fingertips is a fuel that feeds our sexual feelings. But that is no excuse because none of us will fuel a fire to play with it for fear of getting burned. We will always keep it under control. If it is out of control, then we either fight to put out the fire or use the emergency exit to flee from it.
When we read the Bible, God’s Spirit helps us control impure thoughts. Prayer helps to fight it out. But then there are times when we cannot control our feelings, we need to flee i.e. run away to escape from getting burned or destroyed. God is good and has provided the way of exit to escape.
ruler, in an attempt to escape, you have taken the first step in the right direction by asking for prayers. Next, you must follow it up with some practical steps. When you put yourself in a vulnerable place in front of your computer, you are at a greater risk to fall into the porn trap. Avoid or don’t use the computer unless it is for work or reading Bible-related stuff.
Also, you may need to install filters to block porn sites or software to track and monitor your internet usage. Share your struggle with your parents or spouse or a trusted friend. Best thing would be to look for a church near where you live and ask the Pastor or some Christians for help. In 2 Timothy 2:22, we are told to run away from anything that stimulates lusts and enjoy the friendship of those who have a pure heart and are in serious prayer before God.
You are absolutely right. Nothing is impossible with God. I am praying for you. God loves you and we do too 🙂
ruler on March 19, 2011 at 1:51 am
thank you… i really appreciate it:) thank you soo much! God Bless YOU!
selahgirl on June 16, 2011 at 2:11 pm
It is true that we need to love homosexuals as God does – that when they come back to with a repentant attitude and a complete turnaround- then I can begin to slowly trust them again. However, I don’t think that exposing our children to this a good idea. It is sin, and we need to treat it that way. If you are struggling with homosexual feelings and you are reading this right now, I would say to you that you need to stop watching and reading that that trash, ask God for help to stop feeling that way, stop associating with those kind of people that make you feel like you should be of the opposite sex, and get out and do something wholesome ! I am telling you this because I realize that sin is a slippery slope, and hell is wide open. Also consider this: homosexuality is a slap in God’s face for 2 reasons.
1.It is sin.The Bible says no sin will enter heaven.
2.You are doubting that God made you the way He wants you to be. Your gender is not a mistake.
If you don’t believe me, read Genesis 13 in KJV. God doesn’t kill people for fun. He knew that if he didn’t do something about they would pervert the rest of the world. Just like any other sin, homosexuality is a trap and a lie from the devil. Please, if nothing else I have said has convinced you that homosexuality is a sin, consider this: You will not get to heaven as a homosexual. However, I will pray for you that you come out from under that bondage and I hope to see you in heaven !
elviejo on June 26, 2011 at 2:40 pm
I agree with you about the acttitude (some times in the past). But the real problem in the present is: The homosexual comunity is not tolerant if we believe that the homosexuality is a deviation. They do not care about the Bible says. The homosexual comunity objective in the past 40 years was and is to say that they born that way in the media, in schools, and the churches. There are a lot of profesional that disagree with them.
Jeff Olson on June 27, 2011 at 9:14 am
Elviejo,
Sadly the attitude of condemnation of the past is still sometimes in the present. I know it’ not fair when we are immediately labeled as hateful or hostile when we disagree with the claim that people are born gay, but responding in a non-condemning way is what we should aim for. Let us remember that it is the “kindness of God” that leads any of us toward repentance” (Romans 2:4). Kindness, not condemnation, gains us access into people lives where we can start to lovingly challenge and call folks to truth that can transform.
jimgroberts on July 19, 2011 at 4:50 pm
The approach to this “love the sinner hate the sin”.
Of course we should react according to wether the person is a believer or not.
Just as occurred in Corinthia – you cannot just let the sin be seen as acceptable in the church. How canm we be seen as representing Christ if we continue to do what he hates.
There are of course people who are physically split between male and female. They can be helped with surgery and counselling. We must treat them with love and compassion.