As a single woman, for years my view of marriage was based more on what it takes from a life than what it can add to it. But over time, I’ve been able to better understand marriage by studying God’s Word.
In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, Paul’s general advice is that it’s better to stay unmarried because of the opportunities it provides to serve Christ without distraction. The reasons given are:
(1) Single people will not have to deal with the unique problems that married people face (1 Corinthians 7:25-28).
(2) Because the end is near, Christians shouldn’t let marriage and the things of the world become their dominant concerns. Their primary focus should be Jesus and eternity (1 Corinthians 7:29-31).
(3) Since marriage brings earthly responsibilities, singles will be able to devote their lives more fully to serving God (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).
But if marriage comes with so many disadvantages, why did God institute this covenant relationship? Here’s where the whole counsel of God’s Word is vital! While singles may have fewer everyday concerns than married couples, it’s also true that two is better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9). We can see God’s blueprint for marriage in Genesis 2:18-25. This passage reveals that, in marriage, the man and wife complement each other in His service.
There’s also a selflessness in marriage that one can never attain alone. It’s a relationship in which living for another’s best interest is put to the test, and yet—at the same time—can be extremely rewarding. A God-honoring marriage is also a strong witness of Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:21-33).
Our primary concern should always be our relationship with Jesus— regardless of marital status (Luke 14:26). So whether you’re single or married, keep seeking Him and rest in what He deems best for you.
More:
“I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Next:
How could you use your current marital status— whether single, dating, or married—to serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible? Why must Jesus be our primary focus regardless of our life situation?
Rebecca on October 21, 2010 at 4:37 am
I’m a wife, mother and working adult. Being married, you have less time to yourself and have tons of worries. Worries for your children, family safety, financially and many more.
I enjoy being a wife and mother. With work load and stress building as you get older, you wish you have more time on hand.
I’m looking for a new career path. Please pray that God will lead me to the right employer.
It is so true that whether you’re single or married, keep seeking Him and rest in what He deems best for us.
lee92676 on October 21, 2010 at 9:05 am
There would be definite benefits of being single. However, being a husband with three sons; being married is a crash course in selflesness. In order for any marriage to be succesfull you have to be willing to give. I feel that willingness to deny your self is one of the most rewarding lessons a person can learn.
tom felten on October 21, 2010 at 2:56 pm
lee92676, both you and Rebecca (and so many of us) are experiencing how God can use the demands marriage and parenting to bring us to the end of ourselves. It truly honors and glorifies God when we choose to humble ourselves and make selfless choices. When we do act selfishly, the effects of our actions will often drive us back to the foot of the cross and to repentance. As Poh Fang wrote, however, God can use both the blessings and challenges of singleness and marriage to make us more like Him. The question is, are we willing to follow in obedience?
cmartin on October 21, 2010 at 3:31 pm
Having been married and single I can see the advantages of both sides. However, I personally am leaning toward the single side of living life, but will say that if it hadn’t been for my family’s help, after my husband died, being a single mother would have been an even bigger challenge than it was.
But with their help we have raised my son to be a strong, self-sufficient, Godly Christian young man.
Being married took quite a balancing act with work for myself, being a mother, a wife, a pastor’s wife, my husband’s obligations, and church obligations.
There have also been more opportunities for me as a single person to minister to others than there were for me as an individual while I was married.
I would consider marrying again, I’m not totally opposed to marriage. But would want it to be the man God prefers for me to have.
ivy on October 24, 2010 at 8:29 pm
As a single parent, I’m often asked if I feel lonely. No, I don’t. I think it’s important to know what gives you peace and to seek this peace in your heart regardless of your marital status. It’s when you feel this peace in your heart that you truly know how to serve God. Do I make sense?
AManofGod on November 15, 2010 at 9:36 am
As a single young man I studied to be a priest. I always wanted a wife and children but I didn’t believe it would ever be possible for me. I left the seminary and eventually got married and was blessed with a large family. However, now that my marriage has ended I am in unfamiliar territory. I was married for over 22 years (roughly half my life!) and going back to being single is difficult for me. I was blessed to be able to experience life and a married person and experience some of the things men called to serve experience while I was at the seminary but this new chapter in my life is somewhat scary. I love the thought of being in a committed married relationship but remarrying in this day and age with society as it is it a daunting concept…..and my children, although older, would they accept new partners for their parents?
God grant me stability and understanding as I embark on a single life once again.
afia on November 30, 2010 at 11:33 am
the only thing i hate about being single is i feel like i have a reproach, like my family thinks im not good enough or strong enough, i wish i could have just got married right out of college but who knows why it didnt happen, i have a desire to b married but the older i get im like the above, just focus on Jesus, i’ve not got long to be here. So if God doesn’t see fit, why worry myself, but thinking about others is paramount, i could go either or.
AManofGod on November 30, 2010 at 11:38 am
Afia,
Be glad in the place God has you at this time! If you had gotten married out of college [as I did] you might have gotten divorced by now [as I did as well!}
So be glad that you are in the place God has you right now. The future will take care of itself if you do the right things [the Godly things] in the present!
Be Blessed!
AManofGod
siana on February 9, 2011 at 3:50 am
The only thing I worry about being single is whom will I be with on my last days…when I’m old and weak…
Many times I convince myself that God will never abandon me…but the people around discourage me, saying that I will suffer great loneliness if I stay single.
I don’t know why, but the men I met didn’t look like Godly-men. I’m not looking for a perfect-innocent-man though, but is there any man on earth (around me) that is faithful to God? Who can lead his family to God’s way? If I can’t find one, ain’t I better stay single…(and convince myself once more that God will take care of me)
It’s so relieving to read the 3 points above, that being single makes me available to God…but……..I still don’t know what I should do for Him…..
tom felten on February 10, 2011 at 10:58 am
siana, may God give you peace as you seek to honor Him with your life and relationships. As I’ve told many people over the years, never settle for second best. Continue to seek to glorify God in your singleness and if you do find yourself falling in love with a man, make sure he’s a godly guy who loves God and will care for you as Jesus cares for us (Ephesians 5:25-28). Here’s an online booklet that has some good wisdom for you to consider: http://discoveryseries.org/discovery-series/singleness-the-misunderstood-world-of-single-adults/
poh fang chia on February 10, 2011 at 10:14 pm
Hi Siana,
I share the same questions that you have. And honestly, many of them are still a big question mark. There are moments where I thought I’ve worked things out crystal clear, and other moments when things are clear as mud.
I’m learning to bring my questions to God, and trust in His perfect timing to make all things clear. Meanwhile, I choose to follow Him faithfully.
joanith on April 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm
As a single person myself, I think it would be better to be single, cause as the article states above, you can concentrate on living your life for God, and you don’t have to worry about pleasing your husband or wife.
Yes, a single person might be longing to be with someone, but whose to say that something won’t happen to your significant other and you’ll end up alone anyway?