Feeling anger emanating from every place inside me, I reached in the drawer for a folder and slammed it on the desk. The loud noise satisfied my irritation, but only for a moment. My frustration only deepened as I realized how emotionally intense I had become. All because of my daughter’s grade school party.
Disappointed that she was going to miss the party because of another school event, my 9-year-old had disrespectfully expressed her frustration to me. She was angry that I was requiring her to keep her initial commitment. All my efforts at teaching character suddenly dimmed in light of my own behavior.
No one can incite fury in us faster than our own flesh and blood. As godly as we strive to be, every parent has moments when our words are anything but wise or kind (Proverbs 31:26). Parenting is hard work, as much in learning to crucify our own flesh as in teaching our children to crucify theirs.
As parents, we want our children to receive our correction (Proverbs 15:5) but, as children of the Lord, parents must respect the correction He brings us through His Word (Hebrews 12:6). Because of our sin nature, gentleness is rarely our default response to situations that don’t go our way. Rather, it is a behavior we must allow the Holy Spirit to cultivate in our lives (Galatians 5:22-23).
A sure-fire way to walk in the flesh is to allow a conflict with our children to become a struggle for power. A gentle answer may not turn away our children’s anger, but it is sure to waylay the anger within us. We can allow our emotions to rule or we can walk in the power of the Holy Spirit by adhering to the precepts of His Word, even when our flesh is demanding otherwise (Galatians 5:17).
More:
• Proverbs 25:15
• Matthew 11:29
• James 3:17-18
Next:
Why is it difficult for us to follow God’s instruction when it comes to giving a gentle answer? How is gentleness related to the heart of what we’re saying and not just the volume of our voice?
CHERIT1714 on October 12, 2009 at 7:08 am
Feeling in a “poor me” mode this morning so this was directed at me. Thank you for reminding me that to follow Christ means to think of others before myself. I am truly blessed and yet I go to the negative rather than giving thanks for all that I have.
bmi1965 on October 12, 2009 at 9:58 am
Thank you for writing this today. This was for me too. I find it is so easy for me to allow frustrations to boil over when they are added on to by tough times parenting. My wife and I were just talking about this last night. We are in need if crucifying the flesh every moment of every day. Lord please help me to be reminded of this again.
Megan on October 12, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Thank you for the reminder, how I fail at this all the time. I am surprised the Lord has always gentlly answered me back, when I truly do not deserve it.
pkcare777 on October 12, 2009 at 6:21 pm
The message today is a gentle reminder especially for us mothers:)
In the same manner, one way to control our anger is to meditate on God’s word like this passage that struck me hard this week:
Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sin. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.
The bottom line for us to control our anger is one thing: in order that in everything,
God be glorified!
God bless everyone.
rikasoetomo on October 12, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Thank you for writing this.. I am not only truly blessed by it but also encouraged for knowing there are bunches of people out there experiencing and sharing the same struggle with me. =>
I think the message in this article is directed for everyone as the struggle of controlling anger has been everybody’s problem.
May GOD keep enabling us to manage our anger..
GOD bless us all
chiealvarez on October 13, 2009 at 12:00 am
Thank you for this. A simple reminder to guard our hearts and check our emotions. Also shows us the kindness and patience of God with His children.