In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus’ soul was “crushed with grief to the point of death” (Matthew 26:36). He had often spent long evenings talking with and finding strength in His Father. But this night was different. Anguish swept over Him. Three times, He got up to seek out His disciples. He could not enjoy the sweet fellowship with the Father that He had previously experienced through prayer, for He knew His Father would soon leave Him. This was part of the “cup” He dreaded.

For many years, I thought that the “cup” Jesus dreaded was the crucifixion alone. Its associated pain is horrific even to think about. Annaeus Seneca, a Roman rhetorician and writer, described it this way: “Can anyone be found who would prefer wasting away in pain, dying limb by limb, or letting out his life drop by drop, rather than expiring once for all? Can any man be found willing to be fastened to the accursed tree, long sickly, already deformed, swelling with ugly [welts] on shoulders and chest, and drawing the breath of life amid long drawn-out agony?”

Yet, physical pain is not the only reason Jesus asked the Father for deliverance. It was also the reality that His fellowship with the Father would soon be veiled as He took the sins of the world on Himself. If it had been mere physical pain, a more appropriate emotion for Jesus to experience would have been fear rather than grief.

When Jesus said to the Father, “I want Your will to be done, not Mine” (v.39), He chose to undergo all the pain and shame that awaited Him—abandoned and alone.

We sometimes are bothered more by physical discomfort than by being distant from God. Jesus’ Gethsemane experience teaches us to value our relationship with God more than anything—even pain.